Following and Trusting Your Heart

This is a story of what has happened over the past two years and how looking back and connecting the dots has lead me to the happiness I am now have in my life. The pictures are from a mountain that I hiked to that overlooked Vicente Guerrero.

The Past:

I had just finished my freshman year at Johnson Bible College and I loved it. I had the best first year college experience anyone could ever ask for. I met many friends that would last a lifetime, I learned about something I was actually interested in, and I developed knowledge of who God is in the world and in myself.

There was a little bit of a dilemma when I finished my freshman year. I was struggling with whether or not I should continue at Johnson Bible College or see what other things life had for me. It was a time where my faith was tested and doubt started to arise in my head. Doc Reese, a professor at Johnson Bible College, once said, “Doubt is not a bad thing in your relationship with God, because it tests your faith. Without doubt, your faith in something could not be true faith.”

During that summer, I was struggling to figure out what I was supposed to do with life and was trying so hard to figure out my calling from God. I started thinking that attending Johnson Bible College and studying ministry were not in the mix. I started to fade away from my faith and my heart. I started to get involved with things that most people shouldn’t. I was living two separate lives, one devoted to God and the other devoted to worldly experiences and myself. I needed to be shaken up to get me out of my slump.

One summer night I was driving home while it was raining really hard. I took my eyes off the road for just a few seconds and in that short time my truck went spinning out of control. There was nobody else on the road except for me, so no one else was hurt. I had spun around the road and ended up in a ditch on the side. My truck hit the side of the embankment and the air bags went off. When I got out to examine the damage, I noticed that I had just barely missed hitting a telephone pole head on. My truck was totaled and the accident shook me up. The car accident was completely my fault. I was fine though and not hurt, just a few bruises.

I tell the story of the car accident because I believe it was a sign from God. I know it was not the worst accident, but I definitely could have gotten hurt badly. When thinking about it all, I had two decisions I could make afterward. Because I totaled the truck, I received enough money to pay for another year of school. So I had to decide between staying at Johnson to see what God had panned out for there, or going to a different college. I was still confused on which path I should choose.

It took a conversation with my mom to wrestle my heart. During the conversation I was yelling and weighing both paths that were before me. My mom just listened and allowed me to express my emotions. The reason it was so hard to choose a school is because I was also choosing a lifestyle. I wanted to go back to Johnson Bible College, but I did not think I was cut out for it. My mom knew I was not yelling at her the whole time, she knew I just needed to say what was in my head and heart. When I finally finished yelling; my mom said, “Just follow your heart.” It was then obvious which lifestyle and profession I was more compassionate about, Ministry.

So I went back to Johnson Bible College with the mindset of getting myself straightened out. I went to all my classes; most of the time; haha. I joined the baseball team and used our chapel service for a time for me to pray, worship, and learn more about God.

I learned many things about how to live my life. What I learned from chapel service was to take every opportunity to love and trust God and also to follow my heart. The verse for the year in chapel was the Great Commission, so there were many sermons about how to share the message in another country. There were many missionaries from around the world who shared what God was doing in the countries they were from. The Great Commission verse sparked something in me that was possibly a new path for my life.

Joining the baseball team was the smartest choice I made that semester. During the entire semester I grew as a man. My teammates became my brothers and a support group. The unity we all shared is a bond that will never be broken. My coaches taught me to always try my hardest, to be a man of integrity, and to follow my heart.

I finished finals and the semester was over finally. I was looking forward to spending time with family and friends during Christmas break. During Christmas break I had another conversation with my mom. I was asked if I was going to go back to Johnson Bible College. I know I did not get the best grades, but I was going to do anything to make my vision of going back to Johnson a possibility, whether it consist of going to community college for a while or some other kind of adventure; possibly a long-term mission trip.

My mom came to me one day and asked me if I wanted to go on a mission trip would I actually do it. I thought it was a silly question because I knew the answer was absolutely yes, if given the opportunity. About a week later I started talking to Mark Collins about going to Vicente Guerrero, Baja California Mexico to work in an after school program. Then a month later, I was on a plane to San Diego and a short car ride to Vicente Guerrero.

The Present:

Today is my third week being in Vicente Guerrero. I can’t believe it has only been three weeks because it seems like I just got here yesterday. It is so much fun and amazing to see God at work with these people and in myself. It is so beautiful here, the people are amazing, the kids are my favorite, and I could not be any happier. The decision to come here is by far the smartest choice I have ever made in my life.

Just to let everyone know, I have no return date other than to come home to see my family and to tour the United States with Karly Dallas. I do not know what the future holds for me but I do know that if I just follow my heart then it will all work out.

Looking back at all that has happened in the past two years is crazy to think about. Two years ago, I could not have looked to the future and connected all the dots. Only now can I look back and connect them. I have learned my lesson from the past to not try and predict life because it only complicates things. You have to trust God by living your life and He will connect them for you. Live your life to the fullest and while doing so love God with all your heart.

Life Lessons:

First, trying to figure out your calling is not your purpose. Your purpose is to just know God and everything else will be taken care of. This is one of my favorite quotes.

"The real issue in life is not the search for God's will, it is the search for God. The issue in faith is not knowing what God is doing, rather it is knowing that God knows what He is doing. The issue of faith is seeking God's presence, not God's plan for my life, because there is no plan outside of my knowing Him. We don't need to know the will of God, we only need to know God... which is, strangely enough, His will."

Second, do not live two different lives. I told myself that I was never “two faced”. I am telling you to not make the same mistake I made. You are only cheating yourself of the potential God has for you.

Lastly, believe that the future will be all right. You cannot look forward and connect the dots, only by looking back. You have to trust your gut, life, destiny, or in my situation, your heart.

Mailing Addresses

I have been getting many questions on how to receive mail from the United States. I do not have an address here in Vicente Guerrero but there is a way for people to send stuff from the States to me. It may take a little while but the package would get here.

The way for it to work is to send it to Misael Venegas. He works with me and karly and is constantly going to the States for work. If you would like to send us stuff in the mail send it to him with his name on the package. Make sure you let me know in an email letting me know you have sent something that way I can let Misael know to get it for me. When he receives it he will bring it down on his next trip down to Vicente Guerrero.

Misael Venegas

City of Children

P.O. Box 893310

Temecula, CA 92589

If you would like to be added to the Email Update Group email at

steven.jackson1129@gmail.com and I add you to the email list

This is my new email account and is used for updates, work, and to get in contact with people from the states. Please do not send junk to it. Thanks for your prayers and support.

Update from Baja Cali 2/3/12

OASIS IS OPEN!

Today we opened OASIS officially for

business for 2012. Karly and I got up kind of early today to finish a few things we did not have time to finish doing early this week. All we had to do was make a few more packets for the kids that had rules and other important things they needed.

After we had finished making packets we headed over to the Oasis building. We got there earlier than the kids so we could organize each of our room's. Karly's teaches the older kids so she needed to get more books and teaching supplies. I am in charge of the young kids. All I had to do was get puzzles and write down the date and bible verse of the day in spanish. Which is not easy for me because I do not know spanish. I am learning though. It is easy to write spanish because the letters are the same but as I write it I am trying to remember what words mean what. That way I can learn the verse as well as the kids.

(The picture above is a picture of my classroom.)

The children started showing up and came wandering toward me asking me my name and wanting me to play with them. This little girl's name with my sunglasses on is Nancy and she is extremely sweet. She is eleven and loved my sunglasses, just like manuel did. She is in Karly's class but her little sister Mimi is in my class and she is just as cute and fun to be with. Nancy was helping me with my spanish and remembering everyone's names. She kept pointing and quizzing me on everyone's name. She also learned the word tickle in english. In spanish it is cosquillas. She tried to tickle me under my arms.

(The picture above is the little girl, Nancy)

Once everyone arrived Karly and I started each of our classes. Since I do not know how to speak spanish I have people to help me teach the class. I organize all the material for what is being taught to the kids for the day and they help translate it to the kids. They are amazing people and without them it would be so much harder. Reagan is a senior in high school and knows spanish and english. She is the main person who teaches the class. She helped Oasis last year so she knows a lot of the kids still. Her little brother, Ezekiel, who is in the eighth grade has decided to also help to. He also knows spanish and english. He was helping Oscar all day with his home work today. Which is great because the more one on one time these kids get the better they respond and do better on the homework. Oscar is an amazing kid and is kinda my favorite boy of them all right now but all the kids were amazing and so much fun.

(The above picture is Oscar studying his homework.)

These women in the picture are the women who helped me and Karly all week with organizing and preparing for Oasis. It would have been impossible without them. This week they cleaned all of the building to make nice a clean for when the children arrived for opening day. They also made a grocery list and went grocery shopping with me and Karly. Today they made tuna, macaroni, and corn mixed together on a tortilla. It was delicious, and I never have liked tuna; so it was really good. These women are employees of Oasis and get paid each week for helping. They cook all the meals for the children and clean all the building each time for the kids. The Oasis Program can really use your help with paying these women. If you decide you want to help or may know someone in church that would want to they would only be paying for just one of the women. There are five different women who help us. If you would like to support and help pay these women for what they are doing please email me or send me a message on facebook and we can talk more.

(The cook's)

Short term prayer request:

-Helping me learn Spanish

-There is girl in the church who just had a baby. She is fine but pray to keep them both healthy.

-Me and Karly are still a little sick.

Long term prayer request:

-Always need more helpers and the more people who come and teach at Oasis the more kids can join. Which allows more opportunity's to share Jesus's name with them.

(I am keeping count of how many tortillas' I eat and in a week 12)